I was in the rope bondage subculture community for about six months before I left Hangzhou to study in London. During this time I observed the community and the people and realized that there was a strong male gaze in the rope bondage community. I often received messages about rope bondage that suggested male dominance and the objectification of women. In my observations, the roles of men and women have always been unequal, and women, trans women or non-binary women have always been scrutinized. I am trying to experiment with gender shift in the realm of rope bondage in order to realize power shift, artistic expression, intimacy, and sensory exploration.
As a rope bondage model, I have been bound to cis-gender straight men. Why don’t I try to learn rope bondage and bond with some cis men and see what happens? I actually tried to attempt this before when I was in China, I had two ex-boyfriends who were both rugby players and standard masculine cisgender straight men. I tried to try rope bondage on them, one was very resistant, and the other was willing to try but kept emphasizing that I didn’t really like being tied up and that you could just practice your technique on me.
Last semester I discussed my project with guest Expert Sarah-Lou Newman, an artist, mother, feminist, and founder of The Minefield, a Feminist Thinking resource and Meet-Up group for people and parents. We talked by email, and Sarah shared some books with me that helped me learn more about feminism. I shared my experience of bonding cisgender straight men with Sarah and she listened and said “Because cisgender straight men associate sex with rope bondage, they usually see bondage in pornography. They stigmatize rope bondage, and in porn, the woman being bonded is usually the object and the cisgender male is the subject, and when they watch porn they know exactly what’s going to happen down the line in the film, so they’re extremely afraid when they’re on the receiving end of scrutiny.”
But not all cisgender straight men are necessarily like that, Sarah told me. He suggested I could go to another comprehensive university and find some cisgender straight guys and ask them if they’d be willing to try rope bondage. Make it academic, tell them they can just tie their hands up instead of tying their whole bodies, and keep it private and out of the way of other people.
After my discussion with Cecilia, I have determined my place in the rope bondage field. I want to challenge the sexualized perspective of rope bondage, which is a result of the male voyeuristic perspective. Creating a safe space that focuses on well-being while also challenging culture.
For the public, I hope to popularize knowledge about rope bondage and educate participants to break free from patriarchal culture and adopt a diverse perspective towards rope bondage culture, including women and non-binary. In Asian culture, people who bondage is usually viewed as an object of the gaze, and I hope to have the opportunity to facilitate a power shift.
For participants within the community, I hope that they can drive industry innovation through change. For example, by exploring diverse forms of bodily expression, emphasizing intimacy in rope bondage culture, aim to “touching is more important than tying.”