As an East Asian woman, I have lived in China for a long time and am currently residing in London. The change in my geographical location has allowed me to observe many cultural and ideological differences related to bondage between Eastern and Western societies, particularly in attitudes towards gender and bondage.
In China, when you search for the term “捆绑” (bondage) on the mainstream search engine Baidu, the results are filled with images of men gazing. In the Chinese community, I feel that there is a low level of societal acceptance for bondage. People lack confidence and recognition for the legitimacy of rope binding in their social environment, leading to a concealed state in both aspects.
In contrast, when searching for “rope bondage” on the Western mainstream search engine Google, the images presented are markedly different, with women appearing very confident and poised. In London, my friends and I joyfully participate in LGBTQ Pride parades, expressing ourselves fully.
Additionally, I attended a kinky party at Fetish Club, dressed in clothing that incorporated rope elements. The party had a strict dress code, requiring participants to wear outfits deemed “kinky.” During the party, I observed a Chinese guy being asked by staff to remove his long-sleeved shirt to continue participating. Here, wearing “kinky” outfits seemed like a necessary uniform for certain occasions, and no one felt ashamed. Everyone expressed themselves openly and generously praised others. In this environment, everyone adheres to the principle of “informed consent,” respecting each other, making me feel safer than in the outside world.
After coming to London, due to people being more open-minded, community-driven, and newbie-friendly, with participants being more equal between males and females, there is a focus on art and beauty rather than sex. In my social circle, it’s challenging to find people who stigmatize rope bondage, and it seems that everyone is willing to try it. Perhaps because I am in art school, my social circle lacks cisgender straight males with a negative impression of bondage, and there are no individuals who stigmatize the practice. Gradually, I realize that attempting to make cisgender straight males who stigmatize rope bondage accept it and undergo gender power shifts might not be a wise direction in London.